Swiped from Amy
Three names I go by:
1. Rust
2. RJ
3. Rustyjay
Three screen names I have had:
1. Cockroach
2. An Angry Fish Will Bite You
3. This Bug's for you
Three physical things I like about myself:
1. eyes
2. hands
3. brain (i was struggling for something about myself i liked)
Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1. my left nostril because it seems to always be bleeding
2. my right nostril because it picks up the slack when the left one needs a break
3. my ears because they can't handle swimming
Three parts of my heritage:
1. German
2. Scottish
3. Other Eastern European (HA!! there is NO mexican in me!!!)
Three things that scare me:
1. heights
2. spiders
3. this life we call reality is really someone else's dream and that when he/she wakes up, we will cease to exist
Three of my everyday essentials:
1. shower
2. coffee in the winter (Hey, i'm a journalism major, Coffee drinking is a pre-req)
3. my friends
Three of my favorite musical artists:
1. Van Halen
2. Stevie Ray Vaughan
3. Indigenous
Three of my favorite songs:
1. Judgement Day - Van Halen (gotta have this song, a classic since 8th grade for me)
2. Back in black - AC/DC ( I mean come on, who doesn't know the lyrics to this one?)
3. Crazy Dream-Los Lonely Boys (ohhhh yeah)
Three things I want in a relationship:
1. good sense of humor (and the willingness to be teased and tease back)
2. communication (whether it's light and airy or intellectual)
3. honesty
Three lies and truths in no particular order: (you figure out which ones are lies and which ones are the truth)
1. I once committed felony theft.
2. I beat up one of my sister's boyfriends.
3. I can hit for power and average
4. It's been months since I've been on a date.
5. I have never been shot.
6. I have never shot someone.
Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to me:
1. eyes
2. smile
3. did i mention eyes?
Three of my favorite hobbies:
1. hunting (yes i know eVa, not much of surprise)
2. fishing
3. watching sports in some form
Three things I want to do really badly now:
1. hunt pheasants (i'm nearly in frothing idiot mode, two weeks baby)
2. finish school
3. watch an actual basketball game
Three careers I'm considering/I've considered:
1. Journalism in some way, shape or form
2. Engineer until the whole calculus debacle
3. Teacher
Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. Venezula to catch peacock bass
2. Hawaii to hunt blue pheasants
3. Canada, but that's just like driving north til they start saying their "o's" funny
Three kid's names I like:
I am a single, wait, no, a VERY single guy who does not think of such things, therefore I can not respond to this question in an adequate manner.
Three things I want to do before I die:
1. Write a book
2. fall in love unless that would cut into my hunting,fishing,softball,golf,sports time
3. Own a german shorthair pointer
Three ways that I am stereotypically like a boy:
1. I love to hunt/fish/be outdoorsy
2. I am a sports nut
3. I'm so dense
Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I can listen when needed and that's all i can think of
Three celeb crushes:
1. Shakira- oh yeah
2. Erica Durance-Lois Lane off of Smallville, she's made me forget all about Lana
3. Eva Mendes - I guess it's the firery latin thing that appeals to my Pedro side
Three people that I would like to see post this meme:
1. Becka
2. Carrie
3. Shelley
Hmmm...
Ever have someone say something that was so dumb that your brain stopped all function causing you to stand/sit there with your mouth open, eyes glazing over with a vacant expression on your face?
OSL managed to make my brain lock up with this statement: "I don't drink and I don't do drugs anymore so my nails grow."
I nearly broke my neck whipping my head around to gaze at her. At that same moment every single thought process screeched to a halt causing my mouth to fall open. All nervous system synapses ceased fire allowing drool to drip from the corner of my mouth. My brain stopped because it wanted to figure this out but things weren't working.
Inside my head, my now stopped brain realized just how empty my head was. "Wow. This is a big empty place," it said. "I may die in here."
For how long I sat there, I don't know. I'm pretty sure I resembled the human equivilent of a computer locking up. The very center of my brain was a whirling mass of thoughts which was sucking all available energy. Whatdidshemean? DidIjusthearthatright? Wehavetofigurethisout.
Did she mean that if you do drugs, then stop that your nails will grow, but if you don't do drugs, your nails don't grow? Or if you start doing drugs do your nails stop growing? Or do your nails not grow until you start then stop drug use? And how does drinking factor in? What happens if you drink and do drugs? Or if you drink and don't do drugs? Or if you stop drinking but use drugs? Or stop both together? What about starting drinking if you stop drug use?
I must have looked totally shocked because Kelsey started laughing at my expression. Finally, I managed to wrench my mind away from that long enough to restart my system.
OSL must be deleted.
Procured from Bev because I had nothing better to do
1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Yes, I have.
2. Do you close your eyes on rollercoaster’s?
No, because I'm so afraid of heights that I don't go on rollercoasters.
3. When's the last time you've been sled riding?
Two years ago in a good snow. I took the Fish sledding
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
depends on the mood.
5. Do you believe in Ghosts?
Yes I do. If you read my last entry, you'd know one tried to pull me out on the porch
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I hope so. Jeez, I'm learning a profession that requires you to be creative
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Hell yes he did. In fact, I believe he used Spiderwire to do it.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Jennifer. Angelina has something that creeps me out about her a little bit
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
No.I don't know diddly squat.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
Of course I do. I learned when I was in second grade.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
I came close last thanksgiving.
12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
Sometimes.
13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Well not really, I let someone else cheat off of me, so i don't know if that counts
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around..do you go through red lights?
No. Because there always seems to be a police officer around.
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
hmm...maybe. maybe not
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Atlanta "We can get to the post season, we just can't do anything else" Braves
17. Have you ever Ice Skated?
I wouldn't call it skating as much as very uncontrolled ice flailing
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
if they're weird, always. if they're mundane, very rarely
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
the other day going to school because of the Bob and Tom show
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beach Boys?
-Good Vibrations
-Help Me Rhonda
-Barbara Ann
-Little Duece Coupe
-Little Old Lady from Pasedena
22. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I don't know what I believe in the love department other than I'm single and nothing's happening to change that.
23. Do you know who Ba-Ba-Booey is?
The most special of Bo Peep's sheep? No. I don't know.
24. Do you always wear your seatbelt?
Yes, unless i'm driving around town
25. What talent do you wish you had?
I wish I could play piano, or fly, or wish i didn't have such a paralyzing fear of heights
26. Do you like Sushi?
You call it sushi, i call it bait.
27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
Which time?
28. What do you wear to bed?
depends on the weather, but usually boxers, shorts and maybe a tee shirt
29. Have you ever been caught stealing?
No, amazingly enough
30. Does size matter?
Depends, if the game wardens are close, then yes it matters a lot, but if they're not, then no.
31. Do you truly hate anyone?
not so much but maybe OSL
32. Rock and Roll or Rap?
Rock and roll
33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Shakira. I bet she'd be a wiggler.
34. Do you have a relative in prison?
No.
35. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
Well duh, who hasn't?
36. Do you know how to play chess?
i know how the pieces move but that's it
37. What food do you find disgusting?
garlic and cooked cabbage in everything but egg rolls
38. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?
no. unless it was poker for money and we were talking about the cards in the hand.
39. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
It's much more fun to make fun of them to their face.
40. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Yes, i have.
41. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes, i have. I've also had a remote control split my lip open but that was because i was mouthy
42. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
Wow, Kendra's wedding about three years ago. I was close on St. Patty's day last year, but i didn't.
43. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
No, becuase usually we pick good ones.
44. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it can get?
Absolutely. it was on TV and it was called Master of the Flying Guillotine
46. Have you ever met someone famous that you really wanted to meet?
No I have not.
47. Have you ever been stood up?
yeah. she said come over, nobody's home. so i went over, and NOBODY was home!!!
48. When's the last time you screamed/yelled at the top of your lungs?
During the last Cowboys game, or my cousins' last volleyball game.
49. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, just to fit in?
No. I hear my own drum most of the time
50. Do you consider yourself "the biggest fan" of something?
not to my knowledge
51. How much do you rock?
I hope a lot, but it's not my place to say.
Dreams
Last night was the night of dreams. I guess my mind wasn't ready to recover from yesterday's events. Of course, nothing really earth shattering happened either, so I'm not sure why I went to bed with my mind working overdrive.
The one dream I do remember was that I was in the living room with my mother, Jarrett, his wife Jennifer and the Fish. Jen and mom were sitting at the table in the dining room, Jar was chilling on the couch and I was laying on the floor. The door creaked open because of a draft causing Jen to say "Wow this house is drafty."
"It's not drafty,"I said. "The ghost just came home." She gave me a Rusty-you're-such-a-smartass look, (which if anyone can imgaine, I receive all the time.) That caused me to sit up with my mind running at nearly the speed of sound while my mouth tried to keep up. The first order of business was to shut the door. I crawled over on my knees to the door but instead of closing it, I screamed and threw myself out on the porch. I came back inside a moment later, accidentally made eye contact with Jarrett which caused him to bust out laughing.
"See Jen, the ghost got me," I said. By now her gaze had turned from the smartass look to the Thermonuclear Glare of Death. Too bad for her, I am immune to it as the TGOD would melt any other mortal man.
"No, seriously we have a ghost in the house," I said. "This house was built in 1932. Back then the owner of the house had some serious mental problems and he hung himself from the ceiling in the dining room." I was churning out the story which was causing Jarrett to stifle laughter.
"Yeah," Jar said. "He had issues from painting septic tanks with toxic white paint." I turned to Jarrett with an incredulous look on my face because now I had to work that information into my story.
"Jar's right," I said. " When the moon is right, you can smell paint and see a shadowy form hanging from the ceiling." At that point, Jarrett couldn't take it anymore and promptly had to cover his head in a pillow to keep from laughing. I could see Jen mulling it over in her head whether or not to believe me because at times, my stories, however outlandish are true.
"Jen don't listen to them," Mom said. "There isn't a ghost in here."
"Dammit!!" I yelled. "Why did you go and spoil it? She almost believed me." At that point, I started laughing, which made Jarrett laugh harder. I turned to Jarrett and said "Septic tanks? Dude, you've got some serious issues. You need professional help because you're fucked in the head."
And then I awoke. Something's got to change before I go to bed.
I'm a bonehead
That's all there is to it. I knew karma would catch up to me eventually, I mean, it always does. After two columns about my parents, I happened to pull a good one this morning.
Sometimes, I think my explorer should be a short bus with seat belts.
I went outside to take my little sister to school and my explorer didn't start. Like a camera flash, I knew what it was right away. Last night, as I headed to begin my nightly jog I opened the door, turned the key backwards, rolled up the windows, shut the door and went running.
I forgot to turn the key off. I'm a dumbass, simple as that.
Fortunately, after I turned off the automatic lights, there was enough juice to turn over the engine so I let it idle for about 15 minutes. After that time, everything was right once again in my little universe.
Now, this Indian summer shit has got to stop. Ninety degrees on Oct. 18 just isn't my idea of fun. However, I did go play 18 holes today for free. The golf pro even comped my cart so it was a goregous day despite having this little heat wave. I almost played another 18 holes but changed my mind.
Gotta love a little fall break despite a bout of dumbassness.
Under one month
to go until my favorite time of year.
Everyone that knows me knows how much of a basket case I become as we get closer and closer to pheasant season. This year is no exception but the potential to be even worse is there. Thanks to some luck, some negotiating skill and good fortune, I have the maps to three counties that we hunt in that detail who owns which tract of land. Oh yeah. It's on like Donkey Kong this year.
One of our favorite patches is set up perfectly for this season.
I'll probably be a frothing, twitching mass by Nov. 11.
Nothing
clears the head better for me than a little workout.
Okay, so it wasn't that little, rather it was a hard push myself til i almost threw up workout.
But i'm back to normal.
much love to the evalution for letting me whine tonight.
The saga of OSL
It's true, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Make no mistake about it I am all for people expanding their education and for the most part, it's never too late to go back to school. However, with that being said, why do I always get the people whom should have just stuck with their former careers? I mean seriously, all I have to say about OSL is sweetbabyjesuswithacowlick!!
I'm convinced Jimmy (the instructor) calls on her just to make the rest of us laugh. If I was a betting man, I would also bet he tells his collegues about her and her futile attempts at the Spanish language just so they can roll with side-splitting laughter. I know I have a hard time not bursting out with loud guffaws.
We've been in Spanish for almost 8 weeks now. This is an every day class, five days a week. Eventually, something has to stick right? I mean even through osmosis something positive has to take place right?
Not with her. We've been over and over and over the numbers. Numbers. NUMBERS!! For fuck's sake, it's not that hard. Today, we were supposed to pick a number between 1 and 501. She thought for a bit and then blurted out "Unos." Jimmy whipped his head around with the "Did she really just say that?" look on his face. I couldn't even laugh because I was in so much shock. Even on the card game, it's still uno.
I looked at Kelsey sitting next to me and promptly scrawled a letter to God that said:
Dear God,
Can you please send her back to Seasame Street?
Thanks
All of Span 111
One of these days, I'm going to scream out "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" and be done with it.
Sunday Softball
And I didn't get hurt. I went 2-3. We lost 15-14 but that's how it goes.
Wednesday
And I'm still even more retarded.
At least it's starting to heal, but I just agreed to (yes, you guessed it) play softball on sunday.
Why? Because i'm retarded.
Tuesday
And i'm still retarded.
weekend wrap up
There was a weekend?
Actually, there was. Friday night, Jar and I took off at 4:45 to head out to the middle of nowhere for an 8 man football game. Yes, I said 8-man football. Since there are a ton of schools in KS that have very small enrollments, they are allowed to play 8-man football. There are a few differences between the two divisions. With 8-man, you only have to have 5 players on the line of scrimmage rather than the customary 7, the field is only 80 yards long, touchbacks take the ball to the 15 yard line.
So I called the game for the radio which turned out to be another
close one, 32-6. It was kind of fun to have mybrotherfromanothermother there spotting for me and helping out. We did have a good time on the way out there and back as well. I went out to the Bunch at the Barn for our Friday night low key thingy. We were out there until nearly 2 a.m. Again, we laughed pretty hard while throwing in some intellectual conversation.
Saturday rolled around with a major arguement between body and mind. My body had decided that it wanted to get up, while my mind said "Oh hell no. We're staying right here underneath the covers for at least another couple of hours."
My body won. So up I was with a plan to run my mom to a meeting, then to head to Jar's to watch the game. My exploder thought otherwise though. As Mom and I were dashing down the road, I thought I smelled that sweetly warm smell of aantifreeze. I didn't think much of it as the smell went away when I turned on the AC. As we pulled into the meeting point, I saw steam coming out from underneath my hood. I said "Oh, that's not good." I popped the hood as if my popping the hood would solve all because of my overly extensive lack of knowledge with cars. However, I did see the problem as a hose had ruptured. I called Jar, to which he responded by coming out, taking a look at my engine and getting me back home. We then proceeded to try to track down the particular part. We found it after an extensive search. After the retrieval mission, we decided to go watch Bethel play football instead of putting the part on.
My father almost killed us because he made us laugh so hard. We were rather disappointed in the performance we had just witnessed, so Dad must have been seething. All of the sudden he burst out with (PARENTAL ADVISORY) "They have got to get rid of that fat fuck 77. That son of a bitch just takes up space. He didn't make one fucking tackle all night long." It nearly put us in the ditch as Jar and I were laughing so hard. He's bad sometimes. Jar slapped the new hose in my vehicle.
Sunday broke blowing more than a hooker on nickel oral night. It was blowing right about 36 with gust to 45. So what did we do? We went to play golf in the wind like idiots. We played 18 holes at a favorite course of mine, Turkey Creek. I struggled on the front, but got my shit together on the back for an 83. In a wind like that, I was thrilled with my score. After the golf, I had a short respit for a couple hours before I took off for a double header.
During the first game, I became legally retarded when I tried to sneak to third because no one was covering. The shortstop made a diving tag on a great throw by the catcher. To avoid the tag, what did I do? I slid because I'm mentally handicapped. I tore the shit out of my leg even with my long socks. We lost both games 15-12 and 4-2. Ugh.
But that was the weekend wrap up.
