A Self-Proclaimed Existence: October 2004

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Boo!!

Halloween always makes for a good night. This year was no exception althought I was a little disapointed in the amount ot kids out trick or treating this year. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that Halloween fell on a Sunday? Anyways we had fun and may have even resulted in a nightmare or two for some children.
The house looked great. We put the tombstones up in the yard and pile leaves in front of them. Tonight, I buried both the Fish and one of my cousins in the leaves on either side of the sidewalk. Their purpose was to grab ankles. My other cousin Hobble, put on my death costume and we stuffe her with some blankets to give her the appearance of being stuffed. She sat on the porch underneath the red porch light with the candy bowl in her lap. Two tiki torches were tied on either side of the railing up the steps. In the corner of the porch, we had the scary music blaring away. And I had put the fog machine up and it was blowing fog that just swirled and eddied around the yard. Of course, I was lurking around the corner in my coveralls and mask. On the ground, I had a chainsaw ready for those kids we deemed as in need of a good scare.
It is so funny to see the doubt, indecision and fear on these kids' faces. They (and their parents) know that something is real, but they aren't exactly sure what that may be. One kid stood up on the porch, and did the "reach and pull back" hand movement 6 times before he finally mustered up the courage to get his hand into the candy bowl. The Hobble did nothing and as he was running down the porch, one of the two in the yard grabbed him. I even made a group of high school boys scatter like cockroaches when I fired up the chainsaw and went after them.
The funniest thing is the kids that want nothing to do with the place as they will go out of their way and walk by the church across the street to avoid the house. Two girls stood on the sidewalk and said "Nope. Not going here." One group even came back twice. The second time they came back and just gushed about how cool the set up was. In fact, the one girl that was scared even gave me a hug after her mom and grandma did.
All in all it was a good night.

Friday, October 29, 2004

I think I went deaf.

It's been a while since I've had anything worthwhile to write about. Of course that depends on if you classify any of this mumbo jumbo as worthwhile too.
Anyways, tonight I played the role of Good Brother, (and possibly tried to accumulate Get of Hell Free points to be used later) and took the Fish and one of her friends to a haunted house.
Oops.
I think my eardrums ruptured. I should have seen it coming when I turned the corner off of the paved road to get to my other sister Rooskie's. By shutting off my lights, I continued to get scream after scream as we kept driving to the house. Roosk hopped in and we went to the Hunter's Nightmare. After paying the entry fee ( a mere 8 bucks per person hacked down from 10 because we brought 8 cans of food) we were forced into the entry way. The Fish and her friend became one person. I think you could almost smell the fear on them. For 20 minutes it was non stop ear-splitting scream after scream. I laughed the entire time through there. Rooskie jumped a couple of times too.
All in all, it was a surpisingly good haunted house for a town of 17,000.
So the next thing we did was go get ice cream when a brilliant idea struck us. The idea, to watch "Halloween" with the two girls whom had never seen it. We went back out to Roosk's and turned out all the lights. Of course they never saw me sneak my mask in with me. At one point as the tension was starting to build I stood up and snuck back to where I had hidden the mask. I put it on and crept back out to where they were transfixed by the flick. As I went to scare them, my cell phone rang. Thankfully they were so engrossed by the movie they thought it was Rooskie's. The reaction was classic as they nearly jumped out of their skin. After the movie was over, we took the Fish's friend home.
I think I did well because the fish said "You have no idea how much fun I had tonight. Thank you."
I rule.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

My brain is leaking and I can't stop it.

I cannot believe what happened tonight. The only way to describe what I was feeling was debilitating stunned disbelief. My sister is signed onto msn and there is a look of shock on her face. Being curious about it, I ask her what the deal was. She tells me that our cousin was talking to a 6-5 8th grader from KC. At one point, the Fish types "You're an idiot," to the cousin. Of course the cousin got so pissed that she went ahead and blocked the fish.
By now, my forehead hurt because I was banging it against the wall. Right away, I suspected one of her friends or someboy she knows had made up a new name and address via hotmail and was pulling her leg. We went back and forth with her telling me how it was, and how this "guy" had gotten her email address from a virus. Then she told me that this "guy" had found her on the internet. Again, I reiterated that it was one of her friends and my cousin got madder and madder. She tried to explain to me how the internet worked and how she was out there on the internet. I promptly ran a google search for her name. Three entries of that name popped up with only one being the correct person. Suddenly she realized that it was one of her friends who had made up an email account and given the password out to friends because this make believe name is also in the list.
It was 30 minutes of my life that I won't get back.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Two weeks away

It's coming.
The bounce of the ball, the squeak of the shoes, the swish of the nets, the roar of the crowd. Basketball season is two weeks away. TWO WEEKS. I'm excited to be broadcasting again. This is cool because it's via a toll free call or an Internet connection.
Don't get me wrong, I like football, and I like baseball. I kind of like hockey, but because there are some serious greed issues so I probably won't give a rip about it. Someone asked me what my favorite sport was, and I guessed it was basketball. So I asked mom what she thought my favorite sport was and she didn't hesitate when she said basketball. After some thought, I think she's right. I'll watch basketball anywhere, anytime. I'll drop things for a basketball game, and if KU is on, forget about me being useful for two hours unless it is to hunt.
So that being said, I think it's time to list my top ten favorite games,
10. Hesston College vs. Central College. Thanksgiving 1989Down 17 at the half, my two compadres and I were making plans to watch HC play in the semifinal game in the afternoon. HC made a furious comeback in the second half and pulled away with a 94-84 win or something like that.
9. HHS vs. Haven in 1993. I was keeping stats for the team and the game was something I had never witnessed. Both teams went up and down the court in what can only be described as a track meet. At the end of the first quarter it was 26-23. We prevailed 92-84.
8. HC vs Redlands CC. Thanksgiving 98. Phil, Todd, Jeff and I returned to our rightful places as the front row hecklers after having gone our seperate ways. It was a wild game as we verbally abused a pure shooter and also had the crowd rolling. HC won, but I can't remember the score. I want to say 88-82 or something like that.
7. HHS vs. Minneapolis 1993. Once again I was taking stats, when I watched a guard from Minneapolis drain six 3's in the game. With 4 seconds left, one of our forwards missed a free throw and the ball bounced wildly away trickling back to the half court line. The leading scorer for us picked it up and launched a three that was nothing but net to win the game 62-60.
6. HMS vs Nickerson1991. This one I actually played in. We won the championship game 41-40 after leading against the team that had beaten us twice during the year. We did squander an 8 point lead with just about a minute to go.
5. HC vs. Eastfield C.C. of Dallas Feb 1989. With the game on the line and a berth in the NJCAA Div. II tournament in the balance, sophomore guard Lynn Miller went to the line with 4 seconds left in a tied ballgame. The Eastfield cheerleaders ran from one end of the gym to the other to try and distract Lynn. At that point, a bunch of Hesston College students jumped up and went to stand in front of the cheerleaders to show their support for Lynn. Miller drains both free throws and HC goes to the dance with an 82-80 win.
4. Kentucky vs. LSU Feb 1994. While trying to do homework on Fat Tuesday during my junior year, I turned on the SEC battle. UK was down by 31 with 15:36 to go in the contest, but UK came back in the most amazing comeback in NCAA history. I gave up on my homework with about 10 minutes to go in the game.
3. KU vs Texas.2002 Nick Collison and the monster game of 24 points and 23 rebounds. No one thought that these two teams could top the contest in Austin the year before. Everyone was wrong.
2. KU vs. Colorado. Jan 1995 My first KU ball game as a senior in high school. KU routs CU 97-77.
1. KU vs OU 1988. The National Championship game. KU wins 83-79. Thanks to my mother, I had to go listen to the second half of the game in my room because SHE SENT ME TO BED. I did say "Hell with this and let me get in trouble" as I went out and watched the last minute of the game with my dad and a couple of his friends.

Okay, what's your favorite sport and/or favorite game?

Monday, October 18, 2004

Healthy at last

Three days rest did it. For some reason both Achilles' tendons had been killing me. I would feel it after my daily run and then feel it again in the morning. Being as mentally agile as I am, I figured out that the symptoms weren't so good, so I prescribed myself 3 days rest. It worked wonders. I ran tonight for the first time since my half ass attempt on friday. I feel pretty damn good. I think it might be time for new shoes as these have almost seen their better days. So if anyone out there who actually reads this wants to shoot me a new pair of New Balance cross trainers in size 12 ranging from 39.99 to 49.99, I'd praise them relentlessly in my ramblings.
Being the journalist-in-training that I am, I had an interview this morning at 10 a.m. Like the responsibile guy I pretend to be, I was at my interviewee's office at 9:57 a.m. His light wasn't on but yet his door was open. Glancing around the room, I used deductive detective work to deduce that he was there, but was working on an attention getting project. How does he do it one may ask? Easy, my subject had left is coffee mug on his desk and it was completely full. A definite sin in coffee drinking. This is the type of thing one learns when one is to be a journalist. However, I just can't seem to get the hang of the cigarette smoking. That shit burns. Anyways, Mr. Brown did not show at 10:05, 10:10, 10:15 or even 10:20. I chuckled because I just figured Mr. Brown was busy, but I did leave him a note taped to his chair. About 10:40, my cell phone (see, i used the right way becka) and it was Mr. Brown gushing apologies. I laughed and told him that it was no big deal since I am on fall break and have loads of ample time. So we set something up for tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be there.
Onto some sports stuffs--My gosh. When any other team would have folded up and died, the Red Sox have come alive and won two straight in the most amazing fashion too. Both games went deep into extra innings with David Ortiz being the hero in both. A walk off home run last night and a game winning single tonight. Amazing. Then the Astros, not to be out done, win on a game winning homer in the bottom of the 9th. Oh Phillip, your beloved Cards are in trouble.
The only downer about this week is that I had to break the Friday Night Light plans with April. She understood because it was the only time I could schedule the interview. That's how it goes sometimes.

Friday, October 15, 2004

Must be football weather

What an evening!
It was prime football weather. All week weather.com had said that tonight could be chilly. They were right, but it was just outstanding. At game time the temp was probaby around 48 or so, but the wind was out of the northwest and it felt much colder. When we got there, I was damn glad I had chosen to take my Carhart. Two plays into the game, I reached in my pockets and pulled out my gloves that are always there. I was glad when I put the gloves on. That at least made the walk on top of the berm warmer.
My former high school has probably one of the nicest football fields in our class. We're a 3A school which is the fourth largest class in Kansas. Kansas has 6-2A and then Eight Man I and II football classes. At Hobbs Stadium, there are stands on the west side of the field but a berm surrounds the track and field. It's great because we can walk on the top of the berm and follow the action. It's also a definite social gathering point as many different social circles interact on top of the berm.
We did win 38-12, which is great because these are the district games that determine who advances to the playoffs. My oldest friend Fudd came to the game and the two of us watched the game as only two friends of 22 years (wow, that's a long time and we're getting old) can. After discussing the team for most of the first half, the two of us hit upon a plan. Since our high school is traveling to SE of Saline to play our next district game and SE is ranked 3 in our class, we decided to go to watch the #1 and #2 teams play next week provided I don't have to work. My father heard of our plan and after a moment's deliberation, said "Let's go." Fudd's wife is also out of town and so there is the potential for a poker game in the works. I guess I'll see if Uncle Jim wants to go as well, and we'll have a jolly good time.
It was a good evening and a great way to kick off my fall break.

Monday, October 11, 2004

What's tough to do?

What's tough to do? Take 9.5 pages of notes and create a 700 word story. I could have written a 4000 word magazine article, 100 inches of newspaper copy and I only had 20 inches to work with. So after a couple of cups of coffee, I banged out a fairly coherant story about the trail ride.
Speaking of the ride, I was less involved than I thought I would be. That was kind of nice, except for yesterday. At 11:25, my fone rings and it was mom telling me to come out and find my grandfather because they had change their plans. Originally Gramps was supposed to meet them at the high way, but when they saw the major rain coming they decided to trailer in. Plus mom took a nasty spill on the first day and they were out of Loritabs. So they got in to town as it began to rain one of those steady october rains, where it's not raining really hard but it will soak you to the bone after a little while.
Anyways, they did their program, and i was a reporting fool, taking pictures and running back and forth to scribble down good quotes. I finally got to eat a bowl of chili and I called it good. By then, I knew that I was going to have to help pick up the stuff in the fellowship hall. Little did I know, that I would have to be recruited to go take the panels down and help load the horses. I dashed across the street so i could go change and put on shitty jeans and boots and my old oilskin duster. From there we went to where the horses were, and in the rain, I helped tear down the pen and load all the panels after catching Dumbshit and his buddies. Dawn didn't want to try to navigate the road with her trailer and so we were about a mile from where mom keeps Dumbshit. So being the good son, I volunteered and lead his ass down the sloppy road, in the dark rain, to the barn. I was soaked, but I got major points towards going to heaven by making that sacrifice.

Friday, October 08, 2004

The fix is in

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I am a sports junkie. I've got to have sports in my self-proclamied existence.
Usually, ESPN's Daily Quickie and ESPN itself can satisfy my hunger. But, today was baaaaaaaad. I think it has something to do with all the features I've written. I hunger, I crave, I thirst for a sports story. I would love to write a sports column too. There is some semebelence of wit stashed somewhere within all the gray matter.
Anyways, I cruised the 'Net and was rather disappointed in the lack of sports talk. This is probably the only time I regret not living in a metropolis like KC or Dallas because I'm certain I could find sports talk there. With a flash of insight, I thought "Now wait a second. If we get music channels on digital cable, maybe, there is some sports talk." After a lightning quick search, the sports gods heard my plea, and I was rewarded.
Of course, this lead me to the misguided belief that I could do a sports talk radio show. Tim would have to be my right hand, but I think the two of us would rip up the airwaves. It would be a blast. It's time for me to champion a cause for the two of us to get a show. Even if it's a MWF for a couple hours. We can do it.
Since I am a sports guru random sports questions for the weekend:
If Mack Brown loses again to OU, do they fire him on the sideline right after the game?
I think his job would be in jeopardy, no matter what the boosters say. The loss puts UT one game down in the Big XII south and it would take a lot of help for UT to even get to the conf. championship game. Look at what my beloved Huskers did to Frank Solich. Dad said he hopes someone shoots Mack Brown if he loses.
Speaking of the Huskers, who's making the odds for their game against TT?
A 7 point dog? What are the oddsmakers smoking, and where can i get some of that? Yes the offense is struggling, but the defense is good enough to win a national title. Too bad the offense can't catch on. Hell, some of the recievers can't catch a cold. It will be interesting to see what happens in Lubbock tomorrow night.

Anyways, I start getting ready for tonight. Go HHS!!!

Monday, October 04, 2004

The midnight run of me

Yeah, I know what you thought. You thought it was going to be an epic story about how I had to run to warn someone that the British were coming. The British aren't coming. It's not epic. It's rather simple actually.
I found that I really enjoy my run. Now, I'm not going to ever be competing or running in the NYC marathon. I won't even be running in the River Run in the Ta. Tonight, I went on what I like to call the extended version, where I jog out into the country. It's extended to me because it's farther than my normal route. I probably should have taken my dog, but he's a black dog and the moon was behind some clouds. Plus, there's that whole darkness thing the country has going on. Joey would probably stay with me, but sometimes he goes off on his own. Although, since we'd be in unfamiliar territory, he'd probably come streaking if he thought he was lost.
We chose our topic for the final project today in the WfMA class. In a close 7-6 decision, we chose drunk driving as the final project. One of the steps is to write a news/feature story on drunk driving. I wonder if the trip to Iowa counts even though we didn't get pulled over. If we had, the officers would have probably just shot us.
Mom's big ride is coming up. Dammit, I know that I'll be out at the site every freaking night doing something. I can see the writing on the wall already. I have to write a story about it for the paper anyways, but why do i get the sinking feeling that i'll be out everynight, playing groom. On the way home from Stud Cousin 1's vball game on saturday, I mouthed off a bit.
"So, you know, if you really wanted to be authentic, you wouldn't use a saddle. Indians didn't use saddles."
Mom looked at me and said "I'm a 50-year-old white woman. So you can take that authentic shit and shove it."
Classic stuff.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

Because I was bored.

Fun times with surveys
1. What kind of underwear are you wearing right now?
Boxers with footballs on them.
2. What song do you want played at your funeral?
"Little Wing" by Stevie Ray Vaughan, that way people will wonder exactly whe the hell the 7 minute song will end
3. What would be your last meal before being executed?
That would depend on the way I'd be executed. If I was being eltrocuted, I'd want something that smells awful when cooked.
4. Beatles or Stones?
Either or.
5. If you had to pick one person on the earth who should die, who would it be?
Probably that dumb fucker in the softball league, and i'm not talking about the twins.
6.The person whose problems you never want to hear again
Tim's e...well he knows who she is. that bitch.
7. What thing is the most important to you (as far as physical) about the preferred sex?
Eyes. It's got to be the eyes.
8. Do you secretly hate some of your friendsters but are too nice to reject them?
Someone explain to me what the fuck a friendster is?
9. If you could have any super power, what would it be?
To fly.
10. Favorite hangover cure?
I don't hangover...so sleep i guess
11. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
depends on the drink.
12. Favorite Outkast lyric
Ha! That would imply my listening to outcast.
13. Hair color you most like someone you are dating to have?
Color doesn't matter as long as it's not Dyed Goth Black from the satanic cult
14. If you had to be blind or deaf?
Blind. And then I could have radition spilled on me and become daredevil.
15. Do you have any psychiatric problems?
The voices in my head tell me no.
16. Siblings that should go to rehab?
Mindy. Because she can't drink in MODERATION
17. Least favorite month?
March in Kansas sucks ass. and i mean lots of ass.
18. First movie you remember seeing as a child?
Bambi. And I was one of the people who didn't become a full fledged PETA memeber after it.
19. Favorite person in the whole world?
We have to restrict this to just one?
20. When was the last time you went on a date?
Um...I guess it would have been a couple of months ago.
21. Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
Violent movies with the right amount of dirt.
22. Fall or spring?
Duh...Fall.
23. If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
Hmm...since I am straight, I wouldn't do it with a member of the same sex, because that would mean I would be gay.
24. Where do you want to live while your'e old and brittle?
Somewhere flat so I won't fall and break my hip
25. Who is the person you can count on most?
Sorry, there are two. Jarr and Tim
26. If you could date any celebrity past or present without time or age being factors?
Monica Bellucci. fire engine hot.
27. What books have you pretended to have read?
Arrowsmith and most text books.
28. What's a word to describe your life?
existence.
29.Favorite drinking game?
I tend to stay away from drinking games in general. Southtowners can put me under the table all the time
30. What did you dream about last night?
I'm not entirely sure, but I think it had something to do with a bar and two guys yelling at each other.
31.Favorite Bands?
Robert Randolph and the Family Band, SRV, Indigenous, almost anything blues, Los Lonely Boys

A Self-Proclaimed Existence